2025 has been a year of quiet progress for me. Not everything was visible, and not every effort was successful, but each experience shaped the person I am becoming. This series is a reflection on ten things I am grateful for this year as highlights and as milestones that taught me discipline, patience, and self awareness.
It’s been an amazing journey to pass my JLPT exam. In 2019, I created a bucket list for myself where I added goals to fulfil. Out of 8 goals, 7 were completed. The 8th goal was lost and became my eternal regret, so I started focusing on the remaining goals. But while studying as a post graduate student, I fixed myself to those goals.
I am not as intelligent as the people I admire on LinkedIn or in my personal life. In reality, I am a more frustrated person, someone who could not chase things in the manner I wanted. I saw my goal and ran towards it without a second thought. All I could see was completing my bucket list. That was enough for me. As long as the dots kept getting filled, I did not want to give up.
Last year, I failed JLPT N2 by 1 mark. At that time, I was in Italy for personal and somewhat spiritual reasons. When I saw the result, alone in an unknown country, I could not bear it. All I carried inside was anger towards myself.
I came back to India and decided to give one last shot, to pass JLPT N2 no matter what. Everyone has their own struggles, so I will never mention mine out of respect for others. But I locked myself in and said I am going to crack it.
I made videos of myself to motivate myself to pass the exam. Sometimes, I recorded videos scolding myself after failing mock tests. My family was there to support me but there were four sisterly figures who helped me and coached me in this journey to pass JLPT N2, Georgiana, Elisa, Keertika and Daniela.
But when the results started to yield, I did not stop. I kept pursuing it day by day. Just one goal, not to fail this time, and to pass.
On the last day before the exam, I gave a mock test and passed it. I sat and recorded myself one last time. While I was giving the exam, one incident happened during the Choukai test which panicked many candidates, but for me, it became a chance to replenish my stamina for the rest of the exam.
The exam was over, and I went back to my usual office routine. Days later, when the results were announced, I was shivering badly. I had not slept because of last year’s failure experience.
I checked my result. I passed JLPT N2.
I called my sensei and told him about it. That day, I realised something important. The biggest obstacle to my goals is me. And if I can break one version of myself and rebuild myself, then the sky is the limit.
This journey taught me that goals do not fail because they are impossible. They fail when I stop showing up for them. I also realised that comparison, frustration, and self doubt will always exist, but they do not decide the outcome. Consistency does. In the end, the hardest thing I had to overcome was not the exam, but myself.
© 2025 kantandesu. All rights reserved.
EN
